The Chronicles of Nestlewood Lane

Happy 2nd Birthday To Knox!

2011-11-09T13:45:00.000-06:00

My darling baby boy turned TWO on October 1st.

This is where I take a deep breath and choose not to write a lamentation of how my heart is being ripped out with every year that goes by. Instead of a big party at our home, we decided to go to Sayre and celebrate with my family. It was special. And of course, I brought party supplies a-plenty with me.

Knox loves Elmo. Loves. I used to pray that my children would not like Elmo. Why? Because that voice is annoying. Do you disagree? Well Knox loves him, and like any good mother would do, I have learned to embrace that furry, red monster too. Knox actually loves the rest of the Sesame Street gang too - he does not discriminate. So the theme of all his birthday goodies was Sesame Street this year.

I made the cupcake stand out of boxes and wrapping paper, just as I did with Miles' Batman party this year. I asked Mima to make the cupcakes which helped save me some time, and I made the cupcake toppers using graphics that I bought on Etsy. How cute did these turn out?

We had a very special guest, my Aunt Dora Jean, over to celebrate with us. She brought with her a sweet little bag of books for Knox, and it took all the coaxing we had in us to get him to move on from this sack of reads. We could have stopped right here and he would have been happy as a lark, which is interesting because I don't consider him the bookworm of the family.

As far back as I can remember, anytime it was Jamie's birthday, Aunt Dora Jean always had a little something special for me too. And vice versa when it was my birthday. She is awesome like that, and I don't know a single person who doesn't love her. Especially kids. It is fun to see her doing the same for my kids. Miles got his own little goodie sack, and he was thrilled.

After gifts, we moved onto the treats. For the entire weekend, anytime Knox saw the Sesame Street setup, he would point to it and say, "My party!" I love that. Here he is when we brought out his birthday cupcake and started singing to him.

Knox Davis brings a ton of laughter to our family. His personality has really emerged over the past year. He is hilarious, opinionated, loud, goofy, energetic, and he still loves his momma. He works me every single day with those eyes and that face, and I adore him. Truly, I love this little boy with all my heart.

Thank You for the Trick or Treats

2011-10-31T21:21:00.000-05:00

Tonight we ventured into new territory - trick or treating. It was a whole new concept to both Miles & Knox, I mean, Batman & Joker, so we had to do a little practice run before we headed out for the evening.

Knock, knock...

Trick or Treat!

It worked!

Off to give it a real try...

Success! Batman's parting words for the candy-giver was, "Thank you for the trick or treats!" So, with the first house down, it was on! We made an occasional stop for a spoooooky photo op.

The superhero and villain hit up two cul-de-sacs and decided to head home to count their spoils. Batman was psyched and took off at lightning speed.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

The bitter enemies obliged for a final pictorial.

And then it was a race upstairs where they could marvel at their bag of treats. Batman methodically dumped his candy out and started counting.

And the Joker took a more random approach. He got naked and dove in "grab-bag" style.

They were allowed to eat two pieces each before bath and bedtime. What fun!

It was a magical night for Batman & the Joker! Happy Halloween everyone!

Let's Party

2011-08-14T14:00:00.004-05:00

I need to extend my deepest apology to Miles for giving birth to him at the hottest time of the year. What this means, sweet boy, is that your birthday parties will most likely have an element of misery for however long we do parties...OR until we move to a house with a pool...OR until we can convince our HOA to put a pool in our neighborhood...OR until I break down and throw your party at a pool.

This year is said to be the hottest summer since 1980. And it is for the reason of triple digit temperatures that Miles' party started at 9:30 a.m. That's right. Wake up and party like it's 1999! Miles and Knox are actually their happiest selves in the mornings after a good breakfast anyways. And you know how it is with these toddlers - do whatever it takes to reduce your chances of a meltdown. Write it down - words to live by. But more importantly, the morning is really the only reasonable time to let the kids play outside sans water in this heat. I mean, freakin' hot is better than flaming hot, right? And, with lots of bottled water and newly installed misters on our deck, we figured everyone could handle it.

Remember how I mentioned saving a ton o' money on this party? Well get this. Nino and Papa brought with them their very own bounce house for the kids to play on. Genius! They graciously set it up in our backyard, and it was a total hit. Thank you Nino!

Miles and Knox actually had several minutes with the bounce house before too many of our guests arrived. I let them play while I finished setting up inside. Then, our first guests arrived - a little boy in Miles' class at school with his parents and newborn twin siblings! So as I was welcoming them to the party and gushing over the babies, I look out the back door and see this:

Followed by this...

Who's running this dog and pony show anyway?

Evidently, an unfortunate leak in those misters brought the pigs to the watering trough. This was the point where I added super immune booster kid vitamins to my grocery list and showed them the way to the cooler.

Within about an hour it was getting really hot, so we moved the party indoors for a bit to let the kids cool down and eat snacks and cupcakes.

Apparently, Miles isn't into blowing out candles.

After snacks, I could sense some of the parents discouraging their kids from going back outside because of the heat, so we decided to let Miles open his gifts. I wasn't going to do this, only because I would personally rather be whipped than to watch other kids open presents, but I kept hearing little chipmunk voices throughout the morning saying, "Miles, open your presents!" Now I know why.

There is an unspoken birthday-present-opening protocol known only to toddlers, which I have uncovered and will now reveal to you. The role of the birthday boy is simply to tear away the restrictive covering and expose the gift. After approximately 3 seconds of two-fisting the gift to identify its contents, birthday boy drops the gift loosely to his side with a one-handed grip while looking for his next target. Birthday guest seizes the unwrapped gift from the birthday boy's hand to inspect it while birthday boy uncovers the next gift. One by one, each guest relieves birthday boy of his gifts until everyone is left with a new toy in hand. Then, they look to any nearby adult and squeek in unison, "Open it!" Fast forward through the jaws of life prying the new toys out of their packaging, and you're left with a group of content toddlers.

My biggest regret of this party was not getting a picture with Miles, or even just a solo shot of him. But I did manage to get this:

Every 3 year old needs superhero luggage, right?

Editing Practice

2011-08-09T21:36:00.001-05:00

Jeremy installed Photoshop for me a hundred months ago, but it was too intimidating for me. So, two days ago he surprised me with another gift.

And after reading exactly one whole chapter, here is my creation. Here's the before...

And voila the after...

I know, it's not that impressive and I could've done the same thing in iPhoto. Baby steps people.

Holy Party Planning Batman!

2011-08-07T13:09:00.007-05:00

Let's stay on the birthday train for another post, shall we?

We held Miles' third annual birthday bash at our house again, and I DIY'd everything, which means I escaped some nuts-o party expenses for yet another year. Seriously, do you know how much people are willing to spend on birthday parties these days? You might as well take a bag of money and throw it into a big black hole. I'm not saying that won't be me someday, because I get that paying someone else to host your party is easy and convenient, but whoa! Lucky for me, three-year-olds aren't embarrassed of their moms and homemade parties yet. And I have to say that I had lots of fun getting creative for the big day. Miles specifically requested a Batman party, and his only consistent request was tuptates (also known as cupcakes).

Here's what the spread looked like in our dining room just up and to the left as guests came in. I made the "Gotham City" cupcake stand out of some boxes I already had, black wrapping paper, and yellow construction paper. My mom made those iced batman cookies - aren't they impressive? She's talented like that. And keeping with tradition, I made the cupcakes myself.

Oh, and check out our Batman PB&J's...

...made by this guy. I almost needed electric paddles to jumpstart my heart when I saw Dad in the kitchen.

I busted out Singer the sewing machine for the second time ever to make a fabric table runner. I just went to JoAnn's and picked out anything cheap in black, blue, and yellow that would blend with the Batman theme. I got six different patterns. And by the way, can I just mention here that I get annoyed with the fabric cutter ladies at JoAnns's? Every time I state my quantity of fabric, they ask me what I'm making. Reluctantly I tell them, and then they always ask me if I'm sure that x amount is going to be enough? It's like I have a big stamp on my forehead that says, CLUELESS SEAMSTRESS. And so, each time I panic and tell them to double what I just asked for. Because I cave like that. And it's annoying. And now I have all this extra fabric that I have to add to the fabric bin that I haven't made, to go in the craft closet that I haven't constructed, with the time I don't have. See where I'm going with this? The fabric cutters are the bain of my existence. Oh, and I forgot to take a pic of the runner for your viewing pleasure.

Okay, so I had all this batman-colored fabric left over, right? I decided to make flag banner to use up some of the extra fabric. To my surprise, it turned out pretty cute! And I only cursed Singer once or twice while making it.

Here is the fireplace complete with a birthday banner that I cut out of cardstock and strung together with ribbon. And no, Deery isn't part of the birthday decor. He's a permanent part of the family. In fact, I'm thinking of throwing him his own birthday bash in a few months. Maybe a hunting theme? No, that would be mean.

For party favors, I bought white buckets in the Target dollar zone and DIY'd a Batman label for the front. Then, I filled them with a homemade Batman beanbag, a glow stick, a bouncy ball, a pop rocket (what's it called? you pull the string and confetti comes out?), and some mini candy bars with Batman labels. Then I put a thank you tag on the handle. Aren't they cute?

I have to give credit to my mom for the beanbags. I had the idea for them two days before the party, and I knew exactly how to make them. See, I used to spend every summer in California with my Eenie and Grandpa Ernie, and one summer Eenie and I sewed beanbags to play with. Well, she probably sewed them and I probably just watched while I ate popcorn and drank Dr. Pepper. But still, I remembered that fine courderoy worked well for the fabric and then we appliqued squares on the top to jazz them up a little. So, I went back to JoAnn's for the courderoy and this time I kept my sunglasses on at the cutting table so that the cutters would find me too mysterious to speak to. Just kidding, but this time the cutter ignored me completely. Probably thinking my fabric choice was too hideous to be worth inquiring about.

Long story short, my vision for these beanbags and my sewing skills were about as in sync as J-Lo and Mark Anthony's marriage. Not quite working out. Mainly when it came to doing the Batman applique on the front, which I was making from the six fabrics I used for the table runner and the banner. Needless to say, I had a "To-Do" list for mom when she got here Friday night before the party on Saturday. And she obliged. They turned out great! Thanks Mom.

One last touch was a little art for the powder bath that I found on Etsy.

All in all, the party was fun to plan and it turned out so well. More about the party itself next time.

Miles is Three!

2011-07-31T08:23:00.000-05:00

Three years ago today will likely go down in my history book as the scariest day of my life. For it was exactly three years ago today that I was to give birth to a baby, my very first, with an unknown congenital heart defect.

I say "unknown" because that's just what it was. No cardiologist at Children's Hospital could tell us why our baby's heart was so jacked up, which meant that there was no real plan beyond, your baby needs to be born as soon as possible so that we can figure this out. All we had were possible scenarios. Take that bit of news, mix it with one of four outcomes we were told to prepare for (surgery, multiple surgeries, transplant, or death), and dear reader you have the perfect recipe for the scariest day of your life.

Fast forward three years later, and here we are celebrating the third year of Miles' life. We celebrate his healthy heart, his infectious smile, and the pure and simple joy that he brings to our family. And more importantly we celebrate God, who is love, and who had written all the days of Miles' life before he ever lived a single one.

Happy Birthday sweet Miles! We love you.

What Can Separate Us From God's Love?

2011-07-27T08:42:00.002-05:00

Not Even Our Trials Can Separate Us From God's Love

The trials and tribulations we endure are not tokens of His displeasure. They are all tempered by His loving heart. A sense of His love hovering over us in the midst of our distresses is the most blessed of all balms and will enable us not only to endure them, but to enjoy them. Here all the great forces of the universe are arrayed, and none of them, no, nor all of them together, can come between us and the unconquerable love of our God as displayed in Christ Jesus.

Death will be swallowed up by life. Life may lead us far from Him, but not beyond the reach of His love. The present perplexes us, the future fills us with fear, but only when we lose the sense of His love. Powers, celestial or terrestrial, are subject to His sway. Nothing above or beneath, nothing at all has the power to break the bond that binds the humblest and most unworthy saint to the throbbing breast of our great and glorious God. This is more than salvation from sin!

This is reconciliation!

A.E. Knoch (1874-1965)
Concordant Commentary
page 239

Please and Thank You

2011-07-26T13:13:00.004-05:00

Don't you love it when someone compliments you on your child's good behavior? Yesterday, Jeremy and Knox walked through the classroom door just as Miles was asking his teacher, "Ms. Russo, please can I have a snack please?"

Yes, our children are so polite that they say please twice. They also put their hand flat on their chests and move it around clockwise while asking the question, which is the sign for please. So if my elementary counting skills serve, that really makes it three times, doesn't it? Wow. I wonder if my trophy is in the mail for good parenting?

In case you need a visual, here is a picture of the good boys discussing how much they love to be kind and polite to others. Just take my word for it.

But, back to the classroom. As Miles was waiting patiently for his teacher's reply, she glanced over at Knox who was now hot on Miles' snack-asking heels, and she said, "Oh, they are just so cute! How can I say no to that?" She looked at Jeremy, "Do you ever say no to them?"

Duh.

She went on to tell Jeremy how Miles is always very polite, that he always says please and thank you, yes ma'am, and always uses proper names to address adults (i.e. Ms. So-and-So, Mr. So-and-So).

Success! Our blood, sweat, and tears are paying off!

Until Jeremy and the golden boys stepped into the hall, where Knox noticed his teacher (Ms. Chang) and shouted, "CHAAAAANG!"

Apparently we have a little more work to do with Knox. That, or we need to teach him to throw a hand sign and use the word, whadup.

I'm Listening

2011-07-17T21:42:00.008-05:00

The gods are telling me something. Jeremy is upstairs, probably about to croak to the tune of P90X - while yours truly is parked in front of this computer, catching up on a weeks' worth of missed blogs (bc I am nothing if not a devout blog reader). I've got a hot mug of hazelnut cream with a splash of coffee in hand, along with an uneaten McAlister's chocolate chip cookie. I know. Shame on me for not having pummeled that sucker yesterday. And now I run across this picture of Knox.

That's a 20-month old doing downward dog, people. And if that's not a sign, I don't know what is. Thus, my unhealthiness stops now. Right after I finish this delicious cookie and shotgun the rest of this cream, er coffee.

Let's Go Mavs!

2011-06-07T20:10:00.001-05:00

Tonight, Miles and Knox were psyched for Game 4 of the NBA Finals between the Mavs and the Heat. They came home from school, ate a nutritious sandwich and grapes, and then we headed upstairs where Miles did a little warm up on his green ball while Knox decided to get focused.

Next, they both did a little height assessment to make sure they were up for the challenge.

Then, it was time to discuss strategy in the locker room.

And, I guess they had a disagreement about who was tough enough to defend Lebron, because before I knew it, we had trash talk.

Don't worry though. They worked it out as good teammates do, and we are ready for tonight!

LET'S GO MAVS!!

Love & Hate with a Helmet

2011-04-18T22:29:00.006-05:00

The Incident

2011-03-24T20:13:00.003-05:00

We had an incident. I even have an Incident Report to prove it. We got it last Friday from school. It reads as follows:

Incident: "Knox has not been very nice to his friends today. He has been pulling hair and hitting."

Action Taken: "Talked to Knox about how we are nice to friends. Knox then threw a fit and hit his teachers."

Actually, the report has since been thrown away, but these words are etched in my mind for eternity. This is my angel baby, but if I'm honest I've seen the potential for this coming and even mentioned it to my mom a few times.

"Mom, I think Knox just might turn out to be a little stinker one of these days. He's got that look in his eye."

And now there's proof. I destroyed it though. Denial? Just look at this face.

I'm gonna get worked a lot from here on out and I know it. I better toughen up now. Mom says not to worry - he's not a prison candidate.

Yet.

Springtime = Zoo Time!

2011-03-22T12:46:00.000-05:00

We took a fun trip to the Ft. Worth Zoo a couple of weekends ago with our friends Ian & Colleen, and their baby, Tate. The weather has been perfect for the past couple of weeks, so we are trying to enjoy the outside as much as possible before the scorching summer approaches. Miles and Knox love animals. LOVE. Miles especially. So off we went for our second ever trip to the zoo as a family of four. Lots of pics below.

The double stroller saves us. Miles & Knox aren't so keen on strollers, but this keeps them on equal footing so they don't seem to mind.

Our stroller is not the easiest thing to get around stairs. I have to wonder if there wasn't a ramp somwhere that we were missing?

Colleen, Ian, and Tate.

Have you ever seen a hippo out of the water? I had not. Such strange creatures. Jeremy told me they could outrun a human. Doesn't seem possible as slowly as this guy was moving.

Momma's boy.

Daddy's boy.

What else? Digging for snacks.

Cruising for a Time Out

2011-02-25T10:25:00.000-06:00

I remember laughing a few years ago when Mom told me that Lawson asked her to put our lab, Boomer, in time out for licking him. If you're one who doesn't appreciate the fantastic simplicity of the mind of a 3 year old, then surely you can get a chuckle from the ridiculous image alone of a dog sitting in time out until three minutes are up, the offense is explained, and the dog offers an apology.

Yesterday on our way home from school, Miles did the absurd and put the sun in time out. For shining in his eyes. I think he was surprised by his own bossiness when we stopped on Main Street and the sun briefly went behind a tree.

"Mommy, where did the sun go? Where did the sun go Mommy?" He was concerned.

I reminded him that he put the sun in time out. And then the light turned green and the sun came out of hiding. Miles happily greeted it with a, "Oh, hi sun!"

Quick to discipline, quick to forgive. Such a profound concept demonstrated by a two year old, don't you think?

I'm 30!

2011-02-11T19:26:00.000-06:00

This is how the conversation went in the car this morning, according to Jeremy.

Miles: Daddy I want coffee.

Jeremy: Well you don't drink coffee. You can have coffee when you're ten.

M: When I'm ten?

J: Yes, you can have coffee when you're ten.

M: Monles is free (Miles is three).

J: No, Miles is two.

M: And Bubba is one.

J: Right, Bubba is one.

M: And Mommy is old.

Padding a Coffee Table and a Wallet

2011-02-02T15:25:00.006-06:00

When I bought my first house, a new coffee table was an item halfway down a loooooooooong wish list of home furnishings. Lucky for me, eight months later I found a husband who came with a coffee table. Woot! Unlucky for me, the coffee table he brought looked like this. Wop, wop.

Actually, Jeremy and I both are to blame for the awful stain job. But somehow it was still a step up from its condition before. And yes, this is what we've been living with for over 5 years. Despicable, I know.

The good news is that this poor excuse for a footrest got a major makeover a few months ago. I was too cheap to spend $150+ on a coffee table that I would love, so I decided this would make a great DIY project. And thanks to some paint we already had on hand and a fabric sale I found, this new coffee table/ottoman was WAY less expensive than anything I would have bought. Not sure if you can tell from the pics, but I even tackled the task of tufting it. It was fun, and I'm loving the way it turned out.

And for anyone who might be questioning whether I still have two toddler boys so why all the lightness and whiteness in the room... it can't be said other than I just like it. I'm guessing that God gave me the 'light and airy' desire of my heart, coupled with boys only 14 months apart, in order to help me in the patience and forgiveness department. It's all I can figure.

So yes, still got two littles running around. And one of those littles is... wait for it...

Potty trained!

One down, one to go,

Lindsay

Is Anyone Else Only Watching Idol Because of This Man?

2011-01-25T19:54:00.000-06:00

Frightfully Belated

2010-11-14T12:24:00.002-06:00

Two of the most adorable superheroes came to visit me on Halloween! They were the most daring, dynamic duo on the planet. It's a tough call whether I felt more safe knowing that these two were protecting me on Halloween or the, ahem, current administration. You decide.

Nino gave me a sewing machine for Christmas 4 or 5 years ago that I was really excited about at the time. I come from a line of talented seamstresses. Eenie made all of her three girls' clothes growing up and even my mom's wedding dress! My Aunt Dora Jean also made her girls' clothes and even lots of my Sunday dresses too. My mom wasn't as enthusiastic about sewing, but she's good at it if she wants to be. She made me a number of pretty legit outfits back in the day (t-shirt dresses and rompers anyone?). Anyway, I figure that sewing has to be in my blood too and don't want to be found guilty of killing the art in my family. So I was thrilled to get my first sewing machine! But then I got sewer's block. I had no clue what to make. With zero sewing experience I was pretty sure that anything I attempted was going to look like my dog chewed it, swallowed, and then coughed it back up. Ta-da! Wear this please. Uh, no thanks. So I got discouraged before I even attempted anything, and hence, the sewing machine has remained in the box ever since. Until mid October, that is.

I've never really been all that into Halloween. Even as a kid. I was painfully shy as a little girl, and you could forget me walking up to a stranger's door and asking for candy. I would have rather been told I had to throw my beloved Strawberry Shortcake dolls in the dump. I mean, I could barely muster the courage to ask my own parents if I could spend the night with a friend. So trick-or-treating was probably on my "What Hell Might Be Like" list at the time. Nonetheless, Jamie and I had some pretty awesome Halloween costumes that we would wear to the local Halloween carnival or at the very least to my Aunt Dora Jean's house. And someone in my family always made them for us. So, I've always wanted to make my kids' costumes too. Because it's fun. And while they are little, I can screw them up and they'll still wear them. So these two little adventurer's threads are my first attempt at sewing. Well, the capes anyway. Everything else was more like a craft project, although I did hand stitch the logos onto their shirts and sewed Robin's mask. But the capes I actually had to break out the sewing machine to make. And they turned out pretty darn cute!

Crash! Boom! Pow!!

Happy 1st Birthday Knox!

2010-10-01T08:48:00.000-05:00

Today my sweetheart baby boy turns one! I so love this pic because it is the perfect image of what I have enjoyed almost every day of the past year. If you look closely you will see that Knox is not looking into the camera, but instead at the man behind the camera. Or in this case, the woman. That would be yours truly. His momma. And he loves me dearly. This little boy is a dream. He is content. He is happy. He is a cuddle bug. He is smart. He is determined. He is loving. He is patient until I walk into the room and then he is quite impatient for me to pick him up and love on him, which I have to admit I LOVE! He is strong. He is curious. And he can hold his own. My heart melts every single day because of this little boy. His smile makes you want to squeeze the life right out of him, but he can also work the 'Poor Pitiful Pearl' look too, and somehow that has about the same affect. The cuteness factor is off the charts with this one. But I could be just ehh-ver so slightly biased. Praise God for this sweet little joy!

Happy birthday dear Knox. Mommy and Daddy love you more than words.

A Mover and a Shaker

2010-09-23T22:44:00.002-05:00

And the Winner Is...

2010-09-06T22:16:00.007-05:00

If I'm not mistaken, Labor Day weekend is supposed to be a weekend of rest and parties. I strategically reserved this weekend to potty train Miles, and trust me when I say that it was NOT restful, and the only party thrown the entire weekend was a pity party for me when it was over. Sheesh! What a whippin'! It felt more like a boxing match - Mommy vs. Miles. And I don't have to tell you who came out the winner.

Oh sure. He looks cute. But believe me, the cuteness wore off after... about... four hours. I probably shouldn't be blogging about this so soon after day three. He just went to bed, so the frustration is still fresh. And really I should give myself a little credit, there was a wee bit of progress made (pun intended). Before this weekend, I had never tried anything to introduce potty training besides sitting out a little potty in Miles' and Knox's bathroom. Miles would sit on it once in awhile for about two seconds and then be on to the next thing (usually unravelling the toilet paper or flushing the big toilet).

Saturday we quit diapers and being a baby cold turkey and went full on to being a "big boy". Miles helped me gather up all his diapers and baby wipes and we put them in a big trash bag. Then he got to pick out which pair of his new big boy undies he wanted to wear, and I explained that he needed to keep them dry and tell mommy when he needed to go potty. Knox (a.k.a. the mad scientist b/c of his hair) was around for moral support.

Miles drank lots of fluids and ate some juicy peaches in hopes to bring about lots of opportunities to tinkle in the potty.

And I guess he was really taking his new role of "Big Boy" seriously because he was insistent on helping me do some chores around the house.

We bought 28 new pair of underwear for Miles, and by the end of the first day he had gone through about 24 of them. I think that when he would start to have an accident, I would scoop him up so fast and furiously trying to get him to the potty in time to finish that he would get scared, cut off his flow, and be too freaked out to finish. So then he'd go a little more a few minutes later, a little more a few minutes after that, and finish up a few minutes after that. That made for lots of marks in the "Accident" column. So I had to work on my calmness when accidents occurred. By the end of day one, he was saying "Uh oh mommy," when he'd start having an accident, and he would finish in the potty. I considered this a small victory, but I was exhausted. I think he was too.

Days two and three weren't much better, and despite wanting to quit, I was faithful to my 3 day commitment. He had fewer accidents, but only because I think he was trying to hold it in so that he wouldn't have to sit on the potty chair. He was sick of hearing me say, "Be sure to tell me when you have to go peepee," every 45 seconds, and I was sick of saying it. We went through a couple of power struggles, and by day three I may or may not have been driven to tears once. Jeremy even told me that while he was changing Knox's diaper today that Miles came in the room, laid down on his back with his legs up, and said, "Miles' turn." Poor kid. He was so "over" it that he simply asked to be put in diapers again. Good grief! Needless to say, Miles will be wearing pull-ups to school tomorrow. I never wanted to go that route, but I'm not sure how receptive his teachers would be to cleaning up twenty accidents throughout the day, and I'm certain his backpack and cubby won't hold 20 changes of undies and clothes. I'm hoping that he might feel some peer pressure from some of the other kids in his class who are also learning to use the big potties.

When Miles broke himself of thumb-sucking at 8 months, someone told me it was a sign of a strong willed child. Uh... yeah. So round one goes to you, Miles. But your mom has also been known to have a stubborn bone or two of her own. And this fight isn't over yet.

Ding, ding, ding...

My Dawg

2010-09-04T21:15:00.001-05:00

Happy 2nd Birthday Miles!

2010-08-02T08:38:00.004-05:00

Let the terrible two's begin!

We celebrated Miles' 2nd birthday on Saturday, but for me it seemed more like Christmas morning when I was age, oh about 5 through 15, when Jamie and I would wake up at the crack of dawn and run to collect our stocking goodies that Santa had left during the night. Except this Saturday morning there were no stockings, no halls decked out with holly, and no remnants of the jolly guy treating us for excellent behavior throughout the year. Oh, but it was the crack of dawn. No, that's a lie. Sunrise in Dallas on Saturday was at 6:43 am. My special birthday boy was up at 5:42 am! So that was actually WELL before dawn wasn't it? Grrrr.

Anyway, he partied hard all day. He got eggs, bananas, canteloupe, and chocolate donuts for breakfast (when you wake up that early, you get two breakfasts). Then, Nino and Angie came and treated him to some fun family time and a petting zoo, while my parents, Jeremy, and I welcomed Elmo into our home to help us party later that afternoon.

Miles loves Elmo, so of course Elmo was there with his pet goldfish Dorothy (who is actually a male beta fish named Dorothy thanks to an overly attached fish lover at Petsmart who wouldn't sell us a goldfish b/c we didn't have a 20 gallon fish palace for the dear thing to live in. What!??? I'm pretty sure Wal-Mart never gives a flip about that. Geez.), and all of Elmo's faves like cheese pizza and everything red. And I kept the tradition I started last year of making the cake myself - only this year it was Elmo cupcakes! FYI: Elmo's least favorite thing (brussel sprouts) was no where to be found at the party. Here are pics of the details.

Miles had the time of his life! Six of his friends came to celebrate with him, along with a whole slew of grown-ups. And while it was originally supposed to be a water fun party, 105 degree weather kept Elmo begging to stay in where it was nice and cool (to every parent's relief). Mima and Papu brought this fun bounce-trampoline contraption, and I really can't imagine that the kids would have had a better time outside than they did with this. It was a definite hit with the toddlers!

And of course the fun ended with snacks, cupcakes, and fun presents! Miles loved every second. Jeremy and I are so proud of him. He is playful, observant, loving, and full of joy. And he's go, go, go! Just like his Daddy had always hoped.

And to thank us for letting him have a day of all his favorites, Miles did something that I never could have dreamed...

He woke up at 5 am Sunday morning!!!

I don't think Santa will be happy about that,

Morning Conversation

2010-07-14T13:03:00.001-05:00

The other morning I went in to Miles' room to start getting him ready for the day. He was in his rocket ship jammies, standing up in his crib, still trying to wake up. This is how the conversation went.

M: I need eat.

L: You do? Well, we better get dressed and go to school so that you can eat breakfast with your friends.

(he stares off blankly)

M: I need nap.

L: You do? Already???

M: Yeah.

Me too, kiddo.

A Parade, a Project, and Summer Splashin'

2010-07-02T20:13:00.000-05:00

A few times a year, the brave faculty members at the boys' day school rally their classes, block off the parking lot, and have a dress-up parade -usually to celebrate a holiday. Today was the 4th of July parade. It's pretty hilarious to watch the early preschool 2 year olds come aimlessly out of the gates, wondering what the heck is going on.

The infant group is pretty humorous too. I think they have exactly two cribs on wheels specifically for parades. Jeremy said Knox had just awoke from a short nap and wasn't in the mood to show off for a crowd. I don't blame you bub. You were darn cute anyway.

So lately I've been borderline obsessed with a blog that I stumbled upon several weeks ago. It is written by a young couple who bought their first house in Richmond and have totally redone it on the inside and out almost entirely themselves. The transformation is quite incredible. They are all about doing everything on the cheap, which usually means doing it yourself. Anyway, this is as high on my daily "Things to do before 10:30 am" list as drinking coffee, reading the news, and taking a stroll on Rue La La. Actually, it's higher than reading the news b/c I usually just opt out of that all together and catch America Live with Megyn Kelly on the radio during lunch and call it good. But anyway. I now have this looooong list of DIY projects that I'm dying to start - all thanks to Young House Love. You can find the blog here and see what I mean.

It's this site that led me to obtain my very own electric sander for Father's Day. That's right, I'm not too proud to ask for a gift on someone else's holiday. And I put it right to use. Here are the before and afters - I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Before-

After-

I actually surprised myself with how it turned out. Next up, the piano.

And last but not least, Tejas is HOT! And what could be better than cooling off in a $7 blowup pool? Well, maybe just cooling off in a $7 blowup pool with a Route 44 Sonic pop.

Summer lovin, having a blast,

Colorado, 30, and a Pesky Brother...

2010-05-13T21:26:00.007-05:00

We're headed to the mountains in 36 hours - all four of us. And, I've got to pack everything but the kitchen sink. So in true, champion procrastinator form - it's the perfect time to post something to my blog. Next, I might even clean the oven or dust the fans. Who knows? I always get my best cleaning done when there is something more pressing. I'm probably giving my mom an ulcer as we speak.

But I always get it done.

Well, I turned the big 3-0 almost a month ago. Yikes! During the week leading up to my day I wasn't exactly sure what I thought about it - not a basketcase, but not exactly thrilled either. But the actual day of turned out to be fantastic! How could waking up to this not be an excellent start to any day??

I had several gifts and cards awaiting me thanks to a very thoughtful husband and two little sweetie pea good boys. Then, Jeremy had arranged for me and my friend Lauren to get manicures and pedicures together. And later that night we went to dinner with four of our friends. It was a great day! Not tragic at all, as it turns out.

A lot of you have been asking how Miles is doing since his seizure. He is wonderful! He's been at full speed ever since and has never looked back. He's such a special little boy. He is loving, spirited, stubborn, encouraging, happy, and about as ornery as they get! He LOVES his Bubba! I'm already seeing little foreshadowings of what it's going to be like with two boys very close in age. Miles is taking full advantage of being the bigger, stronger, more balanced brother right now. He pesters Knox every chance he can get. His choice move of the month is to walk up while Knox is on his tummy, turn around, back up to him and sit down right on Knox's back! Oh, what fun! Miles just throws his head back and laughs. And he laughs harder when I get on to him for it. Not a good sign. But at the same time, I think Miles is Knox's biggest fan. When Knox does something new, or starts jabbering, splashing, or laughing - Miles looks at him and starts laughing too. It's heaven!

Knox is growing up even faster than I remember Miles doing it. Boooooo! He's doing everything earlier than Miles. Rolling over at 4 1/2 months, sitting up by himself at 5 months, crawling at 6 1/2 months, and sitting up from a laying down position at 7 months! Somebody stop this baby! Miles didn't crawl until he was 9 1/2 months, so I was floored when Knox started crawling 3 months earlier than that. I think he must've realized that with Miles around - you get mobile or you die. But as frustrating as a pesky older brother undoubtedly should be - Knox is extremely chill. He rarely cries, even when Miles is trying to ram a sippy cup down his throat. He calmly trusts that his parents will save him in plenty of time, and he patiently gets his dig in later by death gripping a lock of Miles hair when Miles decides to lay on top of him. That, my friend, is how you make a toddler squeal. You gotta get the jaws of life to loosen the grip of a 7 month old!

Off to rearrange the living room,

Home!

2010-04-06T22:31:00.002-05:00

We are SO thankful that Miles is home and doing well! He is amazingly resilient, as most kids prove to be. He came home from Children's Hospital on the date of my last post, March 25. It took a day or two for him to catch up on some much needed, uninterrupted rest, but he is back at full throttle again. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Miles is at a slightly higher risk of having more febrile seizures because he's had the one. We just have to pay close attention to him and make sure we take action against even the slightest, low-grade fevers. It's important that we stay on top of his fevers to help ensure that one doesn't spike again and potentially result in another seizure. It kind of sounds obvious when I say, "stay on top of his fevers," but babies and toddlers often get low-grade fevers for all kinds of reasons (like teething, for example). Many times the fever subsides on its own within just a few hours and without much, if any, intervention. We have to be a little more paranoid about it with Miles, which I don't have to tell you is coming quite naturally for me now. We now have video monitors in both Knox and Miles' rooms. I often wonder what might have happened had Knox NOT woken up when he did, or if Miles hadn't whimpered as loudly as he did during the seizure. Not a good thought really, and hence, the video monitors for a little extra peace of mind. I will forever find them worth the extra $$. We were also sent home with a drug called Diastat, which is a medication to be given in the event of another seizure lasting longer than 5 minutes. It should stop the seizure - we were trained on how to use it before we were discharged, but hopefully we will NEVER have to!

I am going to post a few pics of Miles from the hospital, not to advertise what went on, but to document for myself what he went through. I'd like to think I'll be scrapbooking all of this one day, but let's be honest. The way life is going, it looks like I may not pick up the scrapbook for another 18-20 years! Anyways, if you have issues with seeing children in hospitals - THIS IS YOUR WARNING! Abort the blog NOW!!!

This is Miles the first day in the ICU. The leads on his head are for the EEG.

This is also one from the ICU. Visitors had to wash up and wear a mask, gloves, and gown.

We tried to entertain him in any way possible. Here he is watching Baby Einstein, which he loves dearly.

Finally healthy enough to go for a little walk with Daddy.

to God be the glory,

Update

2010-03-25T10:26:00.001-05:00

Here is the latest from Miles' doctor (whom I really like but admit I don't remember her name - I've grown tired of trying to keep up with all the doctors by name at this point. But this one is worth knowing, so I'll put that on my to-do list today). She said that the inflamatory markers from his lab this morning are moving in the right direction. One in particular was almost half of what it was yesterday. Initially she was telling me that now we just need to wait for those markers to keep decreasing and for Miles to eat better and get more active before he could go home. She was shooting for tomorrow. But she came back in several minutes later and said that he will finish up his last IV antibiotic tonight and that she will order his lab for this evening instead of waiting until morning. If everything looks good she will discharge him tonight! So that is great news! He is still not quite himself and very tired and weak, but SO much better than when this whole thing started. Just wanted to give that update. Thanks again for all the encouragement over last few days.

Scary. No, make that terrifying!

2010-03-24T21:40:00.002-05:00

Many thanks to everyone praying with us for sweet Miles. I know that I have given a less than comprehensive summary via my Facebook updates, so for those of you trying to figure out what the heck is going on besides just knowing that Miles is very sick - here's a quick recap of the last 3 days.

Monday at 4:20 a.m., our monitor for Knox's room went off. Jeremy was taking a turn and went up to soothe him back to sleep. Ten minutes later Jeremy came into our room with Knox in his arms and told me that we needed to go up and check on Miles because he was making weird noises in his bedroom. Miles had gone to bed earlier that evening as normal with regular cold-like symptoms (runny nose, the beginnings of gunky eyes), but no fever. When I reached his door, I could hear him whimpering, a sound I'd never heard him make before. I found him in his crib seizing with his eyes rolled off to the side. He would not respond to my voice or my touch, and he could not focus his eyes on me at all. We reached Baylor-Grapevine emergency a few minutes later, and they immediately began giving him anti-seizure medication. We learned that protocol on someone with a seizure is to give them the anti-seizure drug until either they stop seizing or stop breathing. Miles had seized for a minimum of 45 minutes, and his respiratory function became so depressed that they had to intubate him (put a breathing tube in). His temperature upon arrival at the ER was 104.5, and we learned that it is not completely uncommon for babies and toddlers to have seizures when a fever spikes like this. It's not the height of the fever that causes seizures, but rather the rapid rate at which it rises. These are referred to as febrile seizures. A typical febrile seizure can last only a few minutes or even 15 minutes in some cases. The doctor in the ER told us that anything over 30 minutes gets complicated and he didn't feel comfortable about assuming the seizure was the result of a spike in temperature. It was possible that his high temperature was a result of the seizure. We were asked every question in the book about what he might have gotten into, was there any trauma that could have caused it, etc. They decided that Miles needed to be seen by a children's specialist, so he was tranported to Children's in Dallas, which is where he is tonight.

Miles spent Monday in intensive care, heavily sedated to withstand every test imaginable - MRI, spinal tap, EEG, bacterial cultures, and viral testing. As of today, all his neurological tests came back normal. Praise God! Because of this, they are calling this a complicated febrile seizure. But he has now developed pneumonia in his lungs. He was moved out of ICU late yesterday afternoon despite fighting fever all day. We were hoping we could bring him home today, but we learned that he has some inflamation in his lungs that is unacceptable for discharge. He has a fierce cough, but this little boy is fighting this thing like crazy and it's wearing him out. We see glimpses of our "into everything," ornery little boy now and then, but he tires out quickly and finds a lot of comfort in the laps of mommy and daddy. And I am perfectly fine with that.

As far as I can tell, the prognosis is that Miles has an increased risk of having more febrile seizures. This usually lasts from age 6 months to 5 years. The neurologists are not placing him at a high risk of developing epilepsy later in life since the MRI and EEG were clear.

There are so many other details I'm leaving out, but I'm anxious to get back to the hospital after coming home to take a shower and put little boy Knox to bed. But this is the long and short of it I guess. Thanks to all for sending us your thoughts and well wishes. We still have a sick little boy on our hands, but it seems as though the scariest part is behind us. That's what we are trusting. And no matter what, we know God was and is in control, and we find rest in that.

More updates and pictures to come,

Adventure Saturdays

2010-03-02T20:34:00.001-06:00

Jeremy and I have been thinking it would be fun to designate one day a week to take Miles and Knox on adventures. Sometimes maybe it will be something super fun like the Ft. Worth zoo, and sometimes it might be as simple as a Chick-fil-a breakfast followed by an hour or two at a local park. Jeremy and I love Chick-fil-A, so that one might be more for us than the boys, but whatever. Saturdays look to be the most practical for us at this point, and the very first Adventure Saturday started this weekend! At least for Miles. Baby Knox's adventure wasn't all that adventurous.

Three of my girlfriends/roomies from college came to stay with us for the weekend. I'm so stinkin' blessed to have girlfriends who get me and accept the stage of life that I'm in. During the course of a friendship you often find yourself in a different boat than the rest of your friends. At this point, I'm the only one of the four of us in the parent boat that drips of primary colors and carries enough diapers to soak up Lake Grapevine. So it was nice for the roomies to jump out of their own ships and swim over to ours for the weekend.

Jeremy was thoughtful enough to brave the first Adventure Saturday alone at the Dallas World Aquarium with Miles in order to give me time to hang out with the girls. Uninterrupted. Well, essentially. Knox was with us, but if anything he only enhanced girl time. What girl doesn't go gaga over an adorable, smiling baby with big, BIG eyes?? Exactly. I was, however, a little sad not to be there for Miles' first encounter with sea turtles and manatees, but my day was a little more relaxing than it would have been otherwise. Miles is my sweetie petey, but let face it - he can be a handful. And for those of you who haven't witnessed what I'm talking about firsthand in awhile - this face really explains it all.

Just kidding, he's kind of frightening in this picture. This one shows what I'm talking about though. How young they start getting sneaky!

Anyway, Jeremy wasn't completely alone. Nino and Angela met them at the aquarium, and Miles had a ball! Jeremy said he was very curious and seemed to enjoy all of the new creatures.

After that, Miles went to his friend Jimmy's 1st birthday party in McKinney. I'd say Adventure Saturday was a success!

Knox!

2010-02-17T20:21:00.000-06:00

It has been awhile since I've loaded new pictures from my camera to the computer, and tonight as I was doing this - I came across these pictures of Knox. How could I not love this little guy til the day I die?? He is the sweetest, happiest, little sugar bear on the planet!

All you need is LOVE

2010-02-14T22:12:00.003-06:00

I'm a lucky girl. I had not one, not two, but three Valentines this year! Our day was fairly low key, but it did consist of a few things I absolutely love - my husband, IHOP, the Olympics, and well... just take a look for yourself at my other two loves.

It's awesome the number of hours of fun a four-pack of heart sunglasses and two mylar balloons can be!

Dallas had crazy weather this week - DFW logged 12 1/2 inches of snow! It was beautiful, it was snowing these giant flakes HARD for almost 24 hours, but the roads weren't too bad. It felt a tiny bit like Narnia. Plus, my office called a snow day on Friday so that made for a nice, surprising long weekend. Check out our backyard!

On another note, Knox is now sitting up with the aid of his Bumbo. Everytime we put him in it, Miles stops playing in his tracks and decides that HE would rather be sitting in the Bumbo. Since he can't get Knox out of it himself, this is his second best idea. The funny thing is that Knox couldn't care less.

Everytime I look at this picture, I have such high hopes that they will be the best of friends. This will definitely be a picture that will stick out in my mind for years to come. I love it!

1 John 4:16, and love never fails -

Night Wars

2010-02-04T09:58:00.003-06:00

I am trying to solve a mystery from Monday morning. It's really quite bizarre (and pretty hilarious as well). Jeremy left the house early to catch a 7:30 a.m. flight to Amarillo, and I had gotten up at 5:15 a.m. to make sure I was showered and dressed for work so that I could have Miles and Knox up, dressed, and be out the door by 7 am in order to drop them off at nursery school and be back on the road, Dallas-bound, by 7:20ish. Whew!

Anyway. I was completely ready and still hadn't heard a peep from either of the boys, so I took the opportunity to get ahead of the game (i.e. wash a couple of dishes, pour Miles a cup of milk, pack their school bags, etc.). A few minutes later, I heard some gleeful chatter coming from Miles' room upstairs. I grabbed his sippy cup and headed up the stairs - the typical routine. I opened his door to a babbling brook and crickets chirping (courtesy of the awesome sound machine I put in his room to help drown out the sound of the neighbor kid doing Ollies on his skateboard, in our driveway, after Miles goes to bed. Ugh! And to muffle the cries of Knox in the next room). It was still dark outside, so I turned on his lamp. I WISH I had taken a picture of the sight I saw when I turned around to greet Miles. In addition to rockin' some major bedhead, his little cheeks were bright red and chapped, his left arm was completely out of his pajama sleeve and instead was up through the neck hole, so it looked like he was sporting some sort of trendy, asymmetrical, off-the-shoulder number. And to ice the cake, he had a bloody nose!! All dried and crusty. What on earth!?!! And he was just grinning like a joker - happy as a lark. I cannot for the life of me figure out what happened during the night - maybe Knox seeking revenge from all the swipes he's taken from his big brother? Maybe a Mission: Impossible-type dream?

Who will ever know?

Making a Comeback.

2010-01-31T23:38:00.003-06:00

Yup, you can stop blinking and start believing your very own eyes. This is a brand spankin' new post coming all the way from Nestlewood Lane! That's right, the Northcutt's are homeowners once again (or double homeowners, whatever you want to call it). After a year of on-and-off-again looking, we finally found a great house in an awesome little community in Grapevine and just moved in a couple weeks ago. I won't dish about the house itself - I mean, it's just a house and who really cares - but the point I wish to make is that it feels WONDERFUL to have a place to call home again. Finally, we have a place to find community with, and FINALLY! I have all my worldly possessions, such as a my awesome green plastic storage containers and my waffle iron, back under my roof again. Ah, feels good! Doesn't feel so great, however, owning (and paying for) two homes during this booming economy, but for some reason the Lord has blessed us and is making a way. At least, I think He is. We haven't actually had to pay double mortgage yet (you gotta love how the lenders give you an extra month between closing and that first mortgage payment to let your stomach stop churning at the thought that you just signed everything away but your firstborn to make the purchase). But, I figure that if we come to realize that we've way overestimated ourselves then the Lord will surely bless me with a weekend shift at Taco Bell to make up the difference. Stay tuned.

But the biggest, most special, most wonderful (and surprising) blessing of 2009 was Knox Davis Northcutt! Born October 1st, 2009. He is healthy, beautiful, and the most chill baby in the world. Easy, peezy. And life would just not be the same without him. So that's my excuse for abandoning the blog for 2009. I was pregnant most of the year, working, and chasing after an ever-changing, extremely mobile toddler. Miles was just 14 months old when Knox was born, and let me tell you. I can sum up the entire year in one word - EXHAUSTING! All my free moments were usually spent with my feet propped up on the coffee table or soaking in a bubble bath.

Jeremy is still with Nobel and loves using his gift of woo. He's such a good dad. Miles absolutely adores him, and although Knox would smile at a robber taking the paci right out of his mouth, I know that he adores him too. That threesome is going to have their share of laughs in this lifetime, no doubt!

Miles turned 18 months old today and is our little Tazzy. Jeremy always said he wanted a boy who was into everything. Well, he's got it! Miles made a sign for his bedroom door that says, "Play Hard or Go Home!" Not really, but you'd think that was his motto. My parents and I joke that when Miles walks in a room he thinks to himself, "Seek and Destroy!" Oh, I'm sure it's just the toddler way, but he makes us laugh with his curiosity and that ornery little lift in his eyebrow as he tests the boundaries. An absolute joy though! Loves his "Daddy,""Mama," and "Bubba." 2010 is sure to be an adventure!

Here are a few more pics to catch you up!

Back in the saddle,

Happy 0.5th Birthday Miles!

2009-02-02T21:49:00.008-06:00

I can't believe Miles is already six months old! Wow. Time definitely flies. It's been a trip watching him grow up and learn before our very eyes. He's our little textbook baby - hitting those milestones according to the latest and greatest baby books out there. I know, all you seasoned mothers out there are going to tell me not to put all my stock into what the books say. But hey, as a first time mom it's the only blueprint I have to work with. And so far - textbook. Two little teeth started poking through last week. Literally one day there was nothing, and the next - ta dah! He also started sitting up by himself - well, for about 30 seconds at a time anyway. He's like a game of Jenga. You get him all balanced, sitting up like a big boy, then slowly as you give or take away a toy from his hand he starts to topple. So cute!!

We had a rough couple of weeks last month battling the sicky sickness going around. Miles got RSV which is a respiratory virus that has the potential to be particularly dangerous in young infants. Thankfully, we caught it early and I was able to keep him on lockdown for about 8-9 days. He also had an ear infection along with it, so that wasn't fun either. But today he had his 6 month check up, and he looks A-OK! He weighed in at 17 lbs, and is 27.5 inches.

In other news, Miles has officially outgrown his infant tub and has moved on to the wonderful, sophisticated, inflatable ducky tub!

Roll in the New!

2009-01-11T14:19:00.007-06:00

I think it's fitting that in this first month of the new year, Miles has already accomplished something on his New Year's Resolution list - rolling over! And you, the lucky reader, are the first to know about it. Jeremy is playing in a golf scramble this afternoon with his buddies, so it was just me and Petey. He had just finished a long 15 minute spell of playing in his exersaucer, while I was dutifully straightening his dresser. I put him down for tummy time with his car keys, when, ta-dah! He rolled onto his back! He had the biggest grin of accomplishment you've ever seen, although that could have been because I made a HUGE deal of him doing it all by himself. Since our video camera is dead at the moment, and I don't know how to video on our regular camera, I tried to get a still action shot instead as proof. But of course, when I put Miles back on his tummy in hopes of capturing the moment again - well, read the look he gave me for yourself. He was not interested in being exploited. I know, you're crushed.

Here are a few pics of playtime just moments before the great milestone was reached. Like I said, I was cleaning out his dresser, so I had to try a few hats on him to see if they still fit.

The most adorable, snotty-nosed kid in the world.

And last but not least, perhaps our version of Blue Steel...

Happy New Year!!

2008-11-26T16:32:00.014-06:00

Happy New Year everyone! As I write this, I'm looking over my shoulder to see Jeremy asleep on the couch to the tune of the Vikings/Eagles game and Miles asleep in his swing next to him. I, on the other hand, am also ridiculously tired, but it's hard for me to nap during the day as I feel I might miss something or I'll feel guilty later that I didn't use the time to read on this book or clean that room. Regardless, the scene I just described pretty much sums up how we feel after a crazy 2008. Exhausted!!

Here's the summary:

*January - Jeremy started a new job with Nobel Biocare and we moved from Fayetteville to Dallas. Just weeks before, we had learned that we were pregnant.

*February - I started working for a small family office in Dallas.

*March - We learned we were having a boy!!

*April - After living with friends for a few months in Keller, we moved into an apartment in Euless.

*May-July - Baby showers, adjusting to apartment life, and doing my best to survive the summer heat!!

*July 31 - Miles Walker Northcutt is born! Read this entire blog to get a feel for the fear, uncertainty, helplessness, and ultimately the joy that we experienced in the days surrounding his birth.

*August - Hours and hours (24 days) spent in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Parkland Memorial Hospital.

*August 24 - Welcome home baby Miles!!

*September - Busting at the seams in our one bedroom apartment, we upgraded to a 2 bedroom.

*October - I returned to work, and Miles started his journey with Primrose School. He loves it and is doing great there!

*November - Adjusting to a life of planning, packing diaper bags, washing and preparing bottles, and washing baby clothes on a daily basis due to daily blowouts. :) Miles got to meet his great grandparents (Eenie and Grandpa Ernie) from California for the first time, and what a wonderful time that was! Thanksgiving was in Brownsboro with my in-laws, and Miles laughed out loud for the first time there. Such a fun moment that I won't soon forget!

*December - Our first Christmas with Miles! He got to meet the REAL Santa, and was a VERY good boy this year as it turns out. We celebrated Christmas Day and the New Year in Sayre, Oklahoma with my family. Our house in Fayetteville is still on the market, but we know that God will send a buyer at the right time. Maybe in 2009!

So, what a year it has been for the Northcutts! It has been a year full of opportunities to trust the path that God has for us and to know that His will is flawless even if we don't quite understand it. We are excited for what's in store in 2009! Enjoy a few of my favorite pics from the last couple months.

Case Studies

2008-11-16T10:43:00.019-06:00

Two weeks ago I got a phone call from my obstetrician, Dr. Wells (best in the world, I'm convinced). He asked about little Miles, and how Jeremy and I were enjoying parenthood. He was very happy to hear that all was well, and he wanted to let me know that they were in the process of writing a case study on us, from an obstetrician's standpoint. We visited for about ten minutes, and I was able to learn a few things that happened during those last weeks of my pregnancy that I just wasn't able to process at the time after learning about Miles' condition. Looking back, it's funny how the words, "We're concerned about the condition of your baby's heart," made everything said afterwards sound like it was coming from the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher. While I do remember Dr. Wells mentioning that there were some "red flags" that signaled a problem, at the time I was too shell-shocked to really ask many questions. So we talked about some of that.

July 29th was the day we had the sonogram that told us there was a problem with Miles' heart. And on that day Dr. Wells had talked about how much my belly had grown. He asked, "Have lots of people made comments about how big your belly has gotten recently?" Well yes they had, but I had been getting those remarks for months. I had even told him about those comments in previous doctor's visits, but he said that I was measuring right on target and that my belly was just more pronounced because I wasn't gaining much anywhere else. But, what he was referring to on the 29th was that my belly had grown a lot within the previous week. In fact, I was to the point of having weekly visits, and at my appt. on the 22nd he never said anything about measuring too big. So I finally asked him what he meant when he said I got "so big, so fast."

He said that on the 15th I measured right on target - 36 cm at 36 weeks (so cool how the number of centimeters is supposed to correlate with the number of weeks you are). The following week, the 22nd, he said that I measured 38 cm - one centimeter too big for being 37 weeks, but he wasn't too concerned about it and would just take a close look to see how big baby was at the sonogram the following week. But on the 29th, just one week later, I measured 41 centimeters!! He says that sometimes if there is a problem with baby, it will make a lot of extra water. So besides the fact that you could see on the sono that there was definitely something not right with Miles' heart, the fact that I had all this excess fluid was another red flag that something was wrong with the baby. Anyway, I found that interesting.

He said they are writing a case study on us because when he researched my symptoms along with what they saw with Miles' heart in all the medical literature from an obstetrician's standpoint, he could find no other cases of it. So he said this will be good in case someone else one day has these same symptoms, their OB will easily be able to research it, find our case study, and know what they need to do - get that baby out!! I also believe they will be writing a separate case study on us from a neonatal standpoint that will indicate how Miles was treated after birth. Again, there were only two case studies found on cardiology side of it so hopefully our situation will be able to help someone else down the road.

Dr. Wells also told me that I will probably be treated as high risk if I were to get pregnant again. Meaning, he will have me do a couple of sonograms with a pediatric cardiologist during the pregnancy just to make sure that I'm not someone who is just going to have babies whose PDA's close prematurely. He thinks the likelihood of that happening is so slim, since Miles' condition was so rare, but better to be safe.

I pass by Parkland Hospital every day as I'm driving to work and again on my way home, and each time it reminds me of how familiar we are with that place, and I breathe a prayer of thanks to God for healing Miles. Just last week, I was on my way to work after dropping Miles off at school, faithfully listening to Kidd Kraddick in the Morning as I always do. Kidd has a charity for terminally ill kids, and there was a mother on the show talking about her six year old daughter, Abby, who has congestive heart failure. I don't know all the specifics, but I do know that she said her daughter's left ventricle was much smaller than her right, and that is exactly what Miles' heart looked like when he was born. Now obviously what's causing that in Abby is different than what caused it in Miles, but hearing her mother talk about how Abby has been through three or four heart surgeries already, each time the doctor saying it will likely be her last (and not in a good way), brought me to tears where I almost needed to pull over. I don't pretend to understand why the Lord healed Miles, because that easily could have/should have been our life too. But instead, we have a perfectly healthy little boy who is down for the count in the next room, and until I no longer work downtown and pass the hospital each day, I don't know if I'll ever go a day without selfishly thanking God that Miles is alive and healthy.

Well! If anyone is still reading this after that novel you're probably good and ready for a nap. Or you may officially stop reading this blog altogether. :) Either way, I know I'd be in big trouble if I didn't leave you with a new pic of Miles boy, so enjoy!

School Days, School Days!

2008-11-08T07:22:00.019-06:00

Miles turned 14 weeks old this week, and it is so cool to see the beginnings of his little personality. He loves to smile, loves to coo back to us in conversation, and is sleeping like a champ! He did his first artwork at school the other day. Ha! It was a little color sheet with his handprint on it. It's so funny to me when they send art or crafts home with him. It's adorable. His teachers also told us that he is a good listener and is "engaged" during storytime. :) Looks like we may have a baby genius on our hands. Ha!

A few weeks ago Miles had a playdate with his buddy Braden and his mom, Morgan. Braden was actually due a week and a half before Miles but ended up being born about a week and a half after. They cooed and had a grand ole time on the playmat together. Adorable!

Last but not least in Northcutt news, Miles celebrated his first Halloween. Call me biased, but I'm thinking he was the cutest little pirate in the world!! He totally got into character. They also had a parade at school, and as you can see, he ended up being a little ghost due to an early blowout. Aw!

He also spent a little time being a cow for fun when he got home, and Jeremy even swears he's learned to moo...

First Day!

2008-10-25T07:31:00.022-05:00

I started back to work on Monday, so Miles has now completed his first week at Primrose School! The picture to the right is him bright eyed and ready for his first day. I have quickly learned that it takes quite a bit of planning to get yourself AND a baby ready and out the door on time each morning. So kudos to all you moms out there who are doing it now or have done it in the past. Fortunately, I have a husband willing to get up extra early to help. Nonetheless, I wasn't exactly sure how this week was going to go, and I had already told my boss last week to expect me to be late on Monday. I suppose it was inevitable that I would be exhausted all week, but in spite of the fatigue, it actually went really well! Each day I woke up before Miles at 5:30 a.m. and got myself ready. Then, I'd wake Jeremy up at 6:30 and he would load the car with diaper bag, breast pump, and whatever else while I fed Miles. Next, it was tag team to Jeremy and he would change and dress Miles for the day while I would get my shoes and any other last minute things. Finally, off to Primrose. I had Miles there by 7:00 each morning, and I was headed to Dallas by 7:15. Whew! Somehow I was never late to work which kind of suprised me. :)

Miles' teachers said that he did great for his first week. I think it was definitely harder on me than him. It was painful to leave him every day after having spent all day, every day, with him for the past 8 weeks. The good thing is that when I'm at Primrose I feel really good about the place itself. It's very clean and safe, and the teachers I've met all seem very nice and great at what they do. It was definitely hard though, to kiss Miles and say goodbye. Jeremy picked him up every day but one this week, and Miles is completely pooped by the time he gets home! We usually let him nap about an hour, and then it's dinner, bath, a little playtime, and beddy. Oh, how I've missed him this week! I do enjoy being back at work, but I might be a little extra clingy when I get home. Ha! He's just so sweet and I love, love, LOVE taking care of him!

Here are a few new pics from the last couple weeks. Miles is now 12 weeks old. Unbelievable!

My best friend Jamie.

We went to Norman for the OU/Kansas game last weekend. Miles got to play with his cousin, Lawson.

10 weeks

2008-10-10T15:34:00.005-05:00

I just got scolded for not posting any new pics. Yikes! How dare me... Give me a couple weeks my friends, and I'll have some really good ones of Miles boy. Until then, here's the latest.

Growing Boy!

2008-10-07T12:46:00.004-05:00

Miles had his two month visit last Wednesday with his pediatrician, Dr. Zwernemann (Dr. Z from here on out), and he is now weighing in at 11 lbs and is 23 inches long. Growing boy! He has definitely grown out of his newborn clothes, and he is now too long for all his 0-3 month pj's. It seriously seems like they fit one day and the next they just didn't. Miles also had his first round of vaccinations last week, and I left the room. Does that make me a bad mom? Jeremy was there with him, so I don't feel quite as bad as I probably should. I'm sure there will be plenty more times ahead for me to toughen up on stuff like that, right? I just couldn't do it. We also learned that Miles has some reflux, so he is on medication to help with that. Thankfully, it's working and he finally seems much more content.

My maternity leave is about to come to an end, and of course I am a little sad. I have loved every minute of being with Miles over the past 8 weeks. I can hardly believe that he is already 10 weeks old! But we feel really good about the day school that he will be attending, and I'm positive he will be getting excellent care. I'm already dreading the first day of leaving him though, and I'm already having thoughts about wimping out on that one too and letting Daddy step in and take him the first day. I mean, I cried when I was touring a day school one day and a mom came in and dropped her little boy off. There was nothing dramatic about the drop off - it looked like they had done it a million times before. The boy seemed happy to go into his classroom, and the mom was perfectly fine too. But when she gave him a kiss and told him she loved him - I lost it! Seriously, I've got to get this under control.

Sorry for the lack of pics today. Our battery on the camera is dead, and I'm not sure where the charger is at the moment. Plus, I think I hear a crying baby...

Upgrades!

2008-09-17T11:18:00.018-05:00

So, there have been a few changes since my last post. As the gifts started rolling in before baby Miles was born, Jeremy and I quickly realized that having a baby came with major luggage, and a one bedroom apartment wasn't going to cut it when housing a swing, jumper, rocker, bouncer, play yard, high chair, bathtub, and cradle. Not to mention a whole closet full of clothes, blankets, bottles, and toys. Jeremy and I are still between houses. So, until our house in Fayetteville sells (anyone interested?), we decided to go with a one bedroom apartment. "700 square feet of fun," I like to call it. Yeah, fun if you like being 9 months pregnant, living on the third floor, with no elevators. Or, how about carting a 9+ pound baby in a big, bulky carseat up three flights? Maybe worse. All that to say, we've upgraded to a two bedroom on the second floor - still fighting one flight of stairs, but it is is WAY better! We can spread out a little more now which is nice. We should have done this from the start, but we were trying to stay optimistic that we wouldn't be here this long. And we were trying to save a buck or two. Oh well, what can you do? UPGRADE!!

Jeremy put Miles' crib together and it is adorable!!

Speaking of upgrades, we had to get rid of the MINI. :( Not condusive to an infant AT ALL, but luckily it stayed in the family. My parents bought it from us, and we bought their Yukon. Nice little transaction, but I'm having to learn to drive all over again. Can't stop on a dime anymore or whip into just any parking spot. Stinks too, cause I feel like race car driving is in my blood now. :)

My mom recently came and stayed a week with us. Unfortunately for her, she was here on moving day. Once again, she helped me pack up for yet another move. I don't know how many times she's helped me move. Post college, she's helped me every time - a total of four moves now! And that's not even mentioning my college days - moving me to Baylor, OU, and back to Baylor again. Each time she swears it's her last. But I know better. :) She's so good at packing and knowing what to put where - why waste that talent?? :) I sound like a brat, but the truth is that I never even have to ask for her help. She just volunteers, and I'm so glad! She's a good mom to Jamie and me. Hopefully I'll be half that to Miles.

Jeremy is in charge of bathtime and he put Miles in his longhorn hooded towel for the first time the other day. Definitely cute, but I'd like to call attention to Miles' right hand in the first pic. The classic horns down gesture. You can already see where is loyalties lie, regardless of what burnt orange garb his daddy might force upon him. Good boy!!

Jeremy had planned to go out of town for a couple days last week for work, so Miles and I went home to Sayre with my Mom. I'd like to say that I caught up on some much needed rest having her constant help. But instead, anytime Miles was napping or Mima had him, I always felt compelled to either eat or catch up on some DVR'd O'Reilly, Hannity & Colmes, or Project Runway episodes. At one point, I was standing in the kitchen with Miles in one arm, trying to scarf down a chicken salad sandwich with the other hand (my lunch finally at like 2:00 p.m.), and I asked Mom if this was the typical life of a mother. "Yep!" she said. "Always the last to eat and your dinner is always cold. For the REST OF YOUR LIFE!" All I could do was smile and apologize. But of course, it's only a small price for the joy of being a mom and I know she feels the same.

Miles with Papu and Mima.

His hair is getting long, but the faux hawk lives on...

I came back to Dallas on Friday, and Jeremy said he felt like Miles had grown in just a week. He really is changing - he's getting more control of his head and likes to hold it up and look around. He's so cute! The consensus is still that he's a Jeremy clone, although I'm starting to hear a few people say that maybe he looks like me from his eyes up. That's fun for me to hear, although I don't know why it even matters to me. It shouldn't. It doesn't.

Here's a pic of Miles' first play date with Haley and Levi. They are the kiddos of my good friend Deidra, who I grew up with. Levi is about 4 months and Haley is two and a half. Miles wasn't really cooperating for the pic.

Following Up

2008-09-06T13:53:00.005-05:00

Wednesday we took Miles to Children's Hospital for a follow-up EKG. Anytime we go somewhere (which is not very often) I try to work around his feeding schedule, but of course we didn't actually get in to see the doctor until about an hour after our appointment time, so Miles was getting pretty restless. I ended up feeding him in one of the available rooms they had while we waited, and it actually turned out great as he was all tanked up and just slept through the whole echo. Good boy! Dr. Dimas, his cardiologist, was happy with the results of the echo and said that his heart looked almost completely normal. I say almost because she said there is still some thickness in his right ventricle, but functionally it is doing great. All the blood is flowing in the right direction now, and the size of that right ventricle is normal except for the slight thickness. She expects that to continue to decrease and wasn't concerned at all. In fact, she said that if Miles just came in randomly off the street and had an echo she would tell us she didn't need to see us again. But given his history, she wants us to come back when Miles is a year old for another follow-up. A YEAR old!! I was expecting several more appointments between now and six months, so we were thrilled with the news!

p.s. Miles is weighing in at 9 lbs now. He's a great eater, as you might have noticed from the chubby little cheeks. So cute!

Game Day

2008-08-30T10:12:00.011-05:00

It's a big day at the Northcutt's. It's the first college game day of the season, which means that now is the time to start molding Miles into becoming an OU fan. I realize the challenge is going to be a difficult one, given that his daddy loves the Longhorns, but I will be putting up a strong front for the Sooners, and I think the fact that Papu has season tickets gives Oklahoma the edge on winning Miles' loyalty. Nevertheless, here is a cute pic of Miles and Jeremy watching ESPN College Game Day together. The first of many I have no doubt.

Miles made his first trip to Starbuck's yesterday, and I must say he didn't seem quite as thrilled as I was. He was conked out the whole time. I even offered to get him a toffee nut latte or a blueberry coffee cake - but nothing. No excitement. Not one eye opened. Oh well. Other than that, we are still just working on his little internal clock. He actually does pretty well, but somehow he didn't get the memo that 4:00 in the afternoon is NOT bedtime and NOT the time for a marathon nap. It feels kinda mean to try to wake a peaceful, sleeping baby - but for his mother's sanity and well-being we need to get this straightened out. He's trying hard though, and he will get there before we know it.

This is pretty typical of Miles' playtime. All these fun toys right in front of his nose, but he'd rather make sure he knows what's going on all around him. Maybe he's going to be the next Jack Bauer.

He'll hate us later for these I'm sure, but how adorable is our little puppy?? I'm taking full advantage of dressing him up like this before he can really put up a fight. It's for the sake of the scrapbook. :)

Home Sweet Homecoming!

2008-08-23T11:57:00.012-05:00

There's no place like home! After 3 weeks and 3 days in the hospital, finally our NICU days are over! Woohoo!

Miles was moved to CCN Friday afternoon and did great through the night. Dr. Rosenfeld decided to have him stay Saturday night as well, and early Sunday morning we got the call that we could come get our sweet baby! Jeremy and I were still asleep and actually heard the message being left on the answering machine, and when we did our eyes popped open and we were on our feet getting ready in no time. Here are a few pics of Miles' last few moments in NICU.

I've often wondered what outfit I would bring my first baby home in. When my nephew Lawson was born and I really started looking at all the cute baby clothes available in the world, I started wondering how anyone ever chooses. In the back of my mind for some reason, I had this image that the outfit was supposed to be delicate, soft, and mostly white with maybe some baby blue gingham or an embroidered bear on it somewhere. I know, seriously. But when Jeremy and I saw this onesie the other day, I just knew. Given all the obstacles Miles has been through and overcome in the last 24 days at Parkland, we thought the Superman insignia was more fitting.

So, how are we doing now that we have him home? Well, the last 24 hours have been fun (and LONG I can't lie!). My parents were in town this weekend, so it was fun for them to be able to see Miles in his new environment. Once they left, Jeremy and I definitely had that "Now what?" moment, but the thought didn't last too long as Miles has no problem letting us know if he has a need that needs tending. We have both been pretty exhausted today as we're working on establishing some kind of routine for him. But exhausting as it may be, we couldn't be happier to finally have him home, sweet home!!

We Can See the Light!

2008-08-20T20:50:00.003-05:00

So, I know it's been a week since I've given an update. Sigh. Thanks for all the reminders to stay on top of it and for everyone still showing interest in Miles. I definitely had intentions of updating more often, but life has stayed a little hectic lately as you can imagine. I am back at work now until Miles is discharged from Parkland. I just couldn't stand the thought of using my maternity leave without my baby at home, so I asked to go back until that happens. It's definitely made each day a little more exhausting for me, but it's more than worth the weariness to gain that extra time at home with Miles.

He's getting so close! The next couple of days after my last entry were still rough as far as feedings go, but over the weekend it was like the lightbulb came on. He is breastfeeding exceptionally well and taking his bottle without any struggles now. In fact, on Sunday Jeremy was holding him and Miles got one of his little fingers around his feeding tube and just pulled it right out! It was like he was saying, "Here you go guys. I won't be needing that anymore!" His primary nurse decided she wouldn't put the tube back in unless she absolutely had to, and guess what? It's been out ever since!! He's taking full feeds every time with absolutely no problems. Yay! They also moved him to a new room at the end of the hall. It's really a room for chronic babies who have been in the NICU for months, so the room is a lot more quiet and most of the babies are in real cribs and have toys and bouncers to help with their development. At first I was worried that this meant they were anticipating that Miles would be in NICU for a long time, but I was quickly reassured that he was moved because a spot happened to open up and they just thought it would be nicer for him. And it is!! Not nearly as many beeping alarms and whistles going off, and it's a lot more private for us as well.

They continued to wean him off the Methadone slowly over the weekend, and today they discontinued it completely! Dr. Rosenfeld caught me on my lunchtime visit this afternoon and had a big smile on his face and told me that "Miles is doing great!" He said they will monitor him for the next 48 hours to make sure he does fine completely free of the Methadone, and if he does well they will move him to CCN (Continued Care Nursery). This nursery is actually outside the NICU, and is for babies who just need to keep eating and growing. Dr. Rosenfeld said a couple days in there and approval from Miles' cardiologists and he'll be good to go! Praise God! Like we've said before, Dr. Rosenfeld is very conservative. So to see a big smile on his face and to hear him tell me to get Miles' bed ready at home - well it felt like he was telling me we had just won the lottery! But this is so much better! We can't wait to be overwhelmed at home with a new baby to care for.

Week 2

2008-08-13T23:27:00.009-05:00

This week we have experienced some other firsts...

I'm most proud to say that Jeremy changed his first diaper! Go Dad! I don't know what made him do it, but he stepped up to the plate Monday night and was a natural. :) Yeah, so he got lucky with just a wet one, but seriously I was impressed at his skills! Of course I had to capture the moment with a pic. He's definitely hired!

We also get to bring clothes for Miles now. So all the cute little things that have been waiting for him at home are now making their way to Parkland. Not exactly what I had in mind, but a way for us to bring home to him since we still can't bring him to home. And to answer the question everyone is asking (including us), we still don't have any idea when that day will be. It just depends on how quickly he can wean off the Methadone and start taking full feeds every time by nipple. Good news is that his withdrawal scores have stayed low enough that he has now gone from 4 daily doses of Methadone to three. They will continue to score him and once those scores stay low for a few days they will wean him again. He is feeding better - not much regurgitation but he's still pretty picky about when and how much he'll take by nipple. Sometimes he eats like a champ, and other times he eats half and then becomes disinterested or sleepy. So then of course they have to gavage the rest.

As for Jeremy and I, we are holding up. We trust in the care Miles is getting, but it's now been two weeks in NICU and it's frustrating not having any sort of idea how distant the light at the end of the tunnel might be. In the beginning Miles' was taking major steps forward every single day it seemed, and that kept us so encouraged. Now it's tough because the signs of progression are a lot more difficult to see, and we just have to ride out the storm. And for me, that storm gets stressful as you sit and wonder when the thunder is going to clap again. Is he really just withdrawing? Could his symptoms instead be neurological? Will he recover completely? It's draining, I can't lie. But with all that said, at the end of the day we still believe with our whole hearts that Miles is one of God's many blessings for us and we trust and pray that He will heal him completely. Here are a few pics from the other night when Miles was wide awake. He is such a joy!

New Room!

2008-08-10T17:55:00.002-05:00

Miles upgraded to a room in the Acute Care Nursery! Basically there is a hierarchy of nurseries within the NICU. Intensive Care Nursery, or ICN, is where he was previously and this is the nursery for the babies who require the most care. Usually these babies are hooked up to ventilators or are unable to feed and require nutrition through umbilical lines or IVs. The next step up is the ACN, where Miles is now. This is for babies who are line free and off the ventilators. Miles got his last IV out this morning, so now he is completely off of all fluids. They are starting to nipple feed him some, but the feeding tube is still there as backup when he won't take to a bottle. As I mentioned in the last entry, the nurses have started scoring him for withdrawals from the two sedatives he was on, and his scores were high enough that they now have him on a drug called Methadone that should make him more comfortable as he comes down from those. After a few days if his scores are much lower they will drop a dose of the Methodone - right now he is getting 3 doses a day. It seems to be calming him down, but it also makes him very sleepy and they attribute that to him not eating from a bottle every time.

I gave Miles a bath yesterday - my first time to do it! I just knew he was going to scream the whole time, but suprisingly he only fussed a little when I took his diaper off. Once he was in the warm water he calmed down and stayed awake and just looked around the whole time. Of course, it was a pretty major scene as there were two nurses there to help me make sure his IV didn't get wet and to guide me through the best way to bathe him and hold him at the same time! I'm not really sure how clean he was at the end of it all, but I loved feeling like a real mom to him. Jeremy even stepped in at one point and washed his hair! And of course he had to style it into the faux hawk like his own (when he's not buzzed). Needless to say, Miles is a cutie and evidently gets LOTS of love from the nurses...

CPAP Free!

2008-08-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

We finally got to see Miles' bright and shining face free of all tape and tubing! Well, almost. They moved his feeding tube from his mouth to his nose, but he is completely off the CPAP and his breathing and gas levels have been good. I couldn't seem to look at him enough, and Dad went camera happy as you can see. This was a big day for us to finally see Miles' little face completely. Of course we think he's beautiful, and he was awake for a good 20 minutes or so which is the most alert we've ever seen him. Also, when we left last night they were about to take out his UVC, which is the last line that was going to his artery through his umbilical. Yay!!

Unfortunately, not all the news is good. Miles is showing signs of withdrawals from the two sedatives he was on. He has the shakes, he is not showing much interest in sucking (although he will take a paci for a minute or two then spit it out), his breathing rate per minute is higher than they'd like, and he started vomiting yesterday after his feeds. So they have a way of scoring the symptoms of withdrawals and began doing that last night. When I called this morning his scores were a little high. We were told that if they are high they will probably put him on another medication to help him come down off the sedatives slower than just quitting cold turkey. Most of us know someone or have at least seen on TV how uncomfortable and difficult it is for someone who is going through withrawals from medication. While we hate the thought of Miles' going on another med, we also don't want him to suffer coming off the sedative. So of course we will do whatever it takes to make sure he's not in pain.

These pics are my favorite yet! Everyone says he looks like Jeremy. I was holding out at first, but now that I can see his whole face - I guess I'll concede. He's such a little sweetheart! But he does have a set of lungs we found out... :)

Happy One Week Birthday Miles!

2008-08-07T12:09:00.000-05:00

It is late morning as I'm writing this, and as of right now we haven't made it to the hospital yet to see Miles. Since I am unable to drive just yet, a typical day has been for Jeremy to pick me up sometime after lunch and we head over to Parkland. He comes up for a quick visit and then leaves me for a few hours while he finishes up afternoon appointments and what not for work. Then he comes back, we stay a bit longer, go home for a couple of hours, and then back to Parkland around 8:00 p.m.

I always call in the mornings to check on Miles, and as of early this morning there weren't many changes and the doctors hadn't made their morning rounds yet where they discuss the daily plan for each baby in the NICU. So hopefully I'll have more good news to share later in the day. But Jeremy and I are thrilled to be celebrating Miles' one week birthday today!! No doubt it's been the longest, most emotionally rattling week of our lives to date, but we are just so thankful for our new joy! I thought I'd post a few more pictures we've taken of Miles over the last week.

August 6, 2008

2008-08-07T00:36:00.000-05:00

Miles is so sweet! He looked visibly better yesterday and today than two days ago. The swelling has gone down some in his little face, and yesterday he was fed a small amount of breastmilk for the first time through a feeding tube (see picture). He is proving that he is able to tolerate it, and today they went up on his dosage and started to wean him off the TPN and lipids. So, I am diligently pumping at home and taking all the frozen milk up to the NICU when we go so that they have plenty in stock for his feedings. If all goes well at his feedings tonight, they may take the line out of his umbilical cord that is giving him those other fluids. Last night they took the first of the two lines out of his umbilical cord. So he's almost line free from that site!! They have completely stopped both sedatives, so we can see him slowly coming off of those. The last two days we've seen him, his little body has the shakes, but the nurses say that's normal for someone coming out of sedation and it just takes time. But tonight he was the most active we have ever seen yet! When we arrived for round 2 at the hospital, the nurse was giving him his first bath and he was NOT liking in one bit! :) She gave him a good scrub and washed his hair, and I'm telling you that when his hair is dried it was blonde!! What? We kinda knew it had a blondish tint in the light, but until tonight I guess it was still kind of matted down and sweaty and I swear looked brown. He had his eyes open too and kept them open longer than we've ever seen. It was the cutest moment, but wouldn't you know it was the ONE visit we forgot the camera!! Aw! He is repsonding well to touch now and makes little faces with his mouth. It is such a joy to see those little signs of life! He is breathing room air now, and today they took him completely off the nip-v, which is what was giving him those 10-15 breaths a minute if he needed help. So he is on CPAP only which is just a little flow of air through the nose tube that puts a little pressure on him to breathe. But he's getting no help other than that, and so far his blood gases are coming back with the CO2 levels decreasing which means he's starting to clear it fine on his own. Hopefully in the next day or two he will have the breathing tube completely out.

Oh, I got to hold him for 2 1/2 hours both yesterday and today while Jeremy did some work. It's the best feeling (even though machines beep all around me and alarms go off sporadically and nurses and doctors in and out constantly - there are several other babies in his room, so not a lot of privacy but Miles and I just learn to create a little bubble around us and we still bond :))! Jeremy holds him at night when we go the second time, and he loves it too. He's going to be a terrific dad! Although he hasn't jumped on a chance to change a diaper yet...

August 5, 2008

2008-08-07T00:25:00.000-05:00

Update on Miles...

Yesterday around noon the breathing tube was removed from his mouth, but they replaced it with a breathing tube through the nose as he still needed a little help. When we breathe oxygen, we breathe out CO2 and he was having a little trouble clearing that CO2 to the doctor's standards. He is coming down off the sedative he's been on for several days, which still has him somewhat sleepy so he also just needs a little extra help from the tube to help him remember to breathe. No ideas when that can be removed, but it is a lot less invasive through the nose than down the throat. So, even though he is still pretty out of it, I have to think he's more comfortable even though it's still not pretty and covers most of his little face. As far as nutrition, he's still not eating but he's off the sugar water now and being given TPN and lipids through the IV. TPN has vitamins, calories, and nutrients - so a little more substantial than the sugar water. We don't
know yet when he can start taking breastmilk, but we've been told that it will first be through an IV until he can be off the breathing tube.

I know that's a lot, but the doctors still say that he is progressing well but it will take time. Our theme for all of this is "Hurry up and wait." That said, when I'm there the nurses let me change his diaper and take his temperature. So I love how that makes me feel like a real mother and not a helpless bystander. We also got to hold him for the first time yesterday! It was quite an ordeal bundling up all the intimidating cords and tubes, but his nurses are wonderful and seemed more than happy to help him get into our arms. It was so hard to give him back even though our arms were going numb and we couldn't rock or move him much :)

I was discharged yesterday, and I'm doing fine. The hardest part is just being apart from Miles, but he's in good hands and that's comforting. Thanks again to everyone who's been thinking about us and praying. We know that God's plan is being played out, and we find comfort in knowing that He's in control of all this.

Day 4 - August 3, 2008

2008-08-07T00:04:00.000-05:00

Miles is continuing to improve. They machines are giving him only 50% oxygen, which is a big improvement from the 100% he was receiving initially. We've been told that once he gets down to 30%, they will remove his breathing tube. We are looking forward to that day because that is the day that Jeremy and I will be able to hold him for the first time. We are extremely encouraged and it looks like it will just take time for him to get better. Miles' attending physician, Dr.Rosenfeld, seems to be the most conservative in giving good news. But even he has said that unless Miles takes an unforeseen step backward, he is well on his way to being healthy. Interesting fact about Dr.Rosenfeld: Evidently he is a very well-known neonatal intensivist who has seen over 300,000 babies in his 35+ years at Parkland (he was there they day they brought JFK in after he was shot). He said he has never seen premature closure of the ductus, and could only find two case studies on it. It is something that has been studied more on animals than infants, so they are having to feel their way through this and use a little bit of gut instinct to know how to treat Miles. We are not being given a time frame at this point on when Miles will be able to come home. It was encouraging last night to see him more active - Jeremy and I saw his eyes open for the first time! Here is a picture we were able to get using night vision on our camera. We like to think he even smiled at us a couple of times, but even if it wasn't truly a smile it sure made us light up!

I am scheduled to be discharged tomorrow. I'm feeling fine. Thanks again for all the emails, phone calls, flowers, goodie boxes, and encouragement over the last several days. It's meant a ton!

Day 2 - August 1, 2008

2008-08-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

First of all, thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers for baby Miles. He progressed well through the night and his "levels" are improving. The pressure in his lungs is very slowly decreasing and his blood oxygen saturation is increasing. He is on a ventilator, which is providing him 20 breaths a minute. He is breathing slightly over that, which means he is doing some of his own breathing. The picture you see are ones we took in the middle of the night when we went to see him. You'll see the breathing tube coming out of his mouth, and he also has two lines attached to his umbilical cord. This is where all his fluids are going through - he's on two sedatives to help calm him down and right now they are giving him sugar water which is also flowing here. These lines also serve as a place for them to draw his blood so that they don't have to stick him all the time. There is also an IV in his right hand and I can't remember what goes in there. You'll also see the little yellow earmuffs - like I said before, he's been awfully feisty, so the sedatives and earmuffs are to help calm him.

We hope you'll take time to stop and thank God for his blessings on Miles. Please continue to pray for his recovery, but we have been able to spend precious time with him much sooner than we thought possible. The doctors who looked at Miles' heart beforehand were preparing us for the worst, and their very words were that they were "extremely nervous" about our baby, but God is great. Thanks for being part of this with us.

Miles Walker Northcutt

2008-08-06T22:41:00.000-05:00

Miles was born this morning, July 31, at 8:46 a.m! He weighed in at 8 lbs, 6 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. He has lots of hair and chubby cheeks. The operating room was full of doctors awaiting his arrival. We learned after his birth that there were 8 doctors present just for Miles, and then 3 in the room for me. Upon delivery, we heard him let out about 3 or 4 little cries and then they took him into one corner of the OR to stabilize him. We were told that he was very blue when he was born, so they put a breathing tube down his throat, started giving him oxygen, and he "pinked up" after that. We were also told that he was extremely "vigorous" so they had to sedate him. They did a 5 minute echo-cardiogram on his heart to quickly try to determine his needs. So many doctors kept coming to our bedside while my OB was stitching me up to give us small reports. First it was that they were going to wisk him away to Children's Hospital immediately, then 5 minutes later another doctor told us that they decided to take him to the NICU at Parkland first before taking him over to Children's, and then another 10 minutes later they determined that he was stable enough that they were going to leave him in the NICU at Parkland until they did a more extensive echo later that afternoon. Each report was a little better than the last. I'm telling you, to hear those little cries was the best sound I've ever heard, because it meant our baby boy was alive! And finally, they brought him over to me as I was still on the table to let me have a tiny glimpse and to kiss his forehead before taking him away to the NICU. Jeremy and I were both overjoyed, to say the very least. Our baby was alive!

Around 4:00 that afternoon one of the cardiologists came in to our room to give us the best news in the world. Our baby's heart was fully functioning!! The official diagnosis was that he had premature closure of the ductus arteriosis. Here is a link that Jeremy found which describes it. http://www.thefetus.net/page.php?id=1071 Personally, I find it hard to understand, so here is my interpretation. Basically the PDA is one of two holes in the heart of a fetus. These holes are completely normal in every fetus, as they serve as a bypass for the flow of blood. The normal function of the right side of the heart is to pump blood to the pulmonary artery and out to the lungs. Since fetuses don't really use their lungs until after they are born, there is no need for the blood to flow to the lungs until after birth, so the PDA allows that blood to bypass flowing to the lungs while the baby is in utero. Upon birth, the PDA closes. This closure allows the high pressure in the lungs to drop immediately, and all the pressures and blood oxygen levels reorganize as infants take their first breath. In baby Miles, his PDA closed prematurely while he was in utero, and this caused that right side of his heart to work extra hard to try to pump blood through his pulmonary artery and out to the lungs. That is ultimately what caused it to become enlarged. Because his PDA was already closed, and because there is high pressure in his lungs (which should have normally fallen immediately upon birth as the PDA closes), it is called pulmonary hypertension. In a nutshell, after an extensive echo the cardiologists are saying that his heart is functioning normally - the holes are closed, and no arteries are blocked or narrowed. Instead, his sickness is the pulmonary hypertention that was caused by the premature closure of his PDA. Clear as mud? That's the best I understand it, but of course I may have some of that screwed up. So if you're a doctor and reading this - I'm sorry!!

Anyway, his heart is healthy. Praise God! Now we just need the pressure in his lungs to decrease and his blood oxygen levels to increase. The more the pressure in his lungs decreases, the less strain there is on his heart and it will be able to heal faster (remember his right side is still enlarged even though it appears to be functioning normally).

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

2008-08-06T22:13:00.000-05:00

Today we learned that our unborn baby boy Miles has a congenital heart defect, but we won't know the extent of the defect until after he is born. Because he is so far along (38 weeks) and considered full term, the doctors are unable to get a good look at all the angles of his heart to be able to pinpoint what is causing the problem. What they see is that the right side of his heart is very enlarged compared to the left. The pediatric cardiologist who looked at the sonogram today told us afterwards that he is "very nervous" about our baby and that he will be born very sick. We've pretty much been given possible scenarios ranging from A to Z - everything from something that can be treated with medication to a defect that he will not be able to survive. And then everything in between, with the possiblity of a transplant somewhere in the middle. However, the outcome he did not mention, and what we are praying for, is that Miles will be born with a fully functioning, healthy heart. We believer our Savior can move the mountains, and that is what we are asking. We are asking that we will be able to hold our son alive soon after his birth. Either way, we know that our God's will is perfect and that His name will be glorified no matter the outcome. Miles will be born on Thursday, July 31 between 8:00 and 8:30, via c-section, at Parkland Hospital. I am delivering at Parkland so that he can be transported immediately next door to Children's. The plan is for him to be stabilized in the delivery room, with the cardiologists from Children's on hand to determine his needs, and then he will be taken over to Children's.