Crossing It Off The List

There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it.

There will be no Elf on a Shelf at our house this year.  Or any year after. 

Judge me if you must.  This is a decision I made about 5 minutes ago, and I haven't even discussed it with Jeremy yet.  But considering that he heaves a big sigh every time I send him to the attic to bring down yet another Christmas tree (We have five.  Keep on judging, Grinch), I can't imagine this news will disappoint him.

It's just too much for us (me).  The thought of one more task to complete every night makes me want to induce myself into a coma.  And frankly, isn't the idea of a miniature person flying in and out of your house every night, watching your every move, reporting to the Man in Red, and rooting around in your knives and marshmallows a little Creepy Creeperson?  I say yes. 

And, while I guess the main point is to add another layer of magical goodness to Christmas for children, it's undisputed that parents hope the elf will curb some bad behavior for a month.  Right?  Let's discuss this please.  Does this really work for any of you?  We had an elf last Christmas, and I am a mother of mischievous boys.  So at our house, Elf-Elf (as the boys so creatively named him) served as one more figure for Miles and Knox to defy.  Literally moments after I read them the passage from the book that says you're not allowed to touch the elf or he loses his magic, Knox went nose to nose with the little guy and put his grubby little finger about an eighth of an inch away from Elf-Elf's cheek, while Miles looked on screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!"

This is drama we don't need, folks.  So I'm saying no.  I hope the kids won't be upset.  Is it too much to hope they will have so much fun with other things that they won't notice?  We'll see.

*I cast no judgment against those of you that enjoy this tradition.  I'll have fun seeing pictures of your elves on Facebook tonight while I watch The Voice free of all thoughts elfin.