Lakey: Four

As I mentioned, Lakey turned four a couple of weeks ago.

She woke up to some new books from her bros.  Please note her bangs - she found some scissors the other day...

Then, we were off to get donuts.

 

Knox insisted on getting Lakey her very own Hello Kitty water dispenser.  Unconventional, but right on the money.



 

She also got some big girl upgrades in her room.  No more toddler bed!

 

 

This was Lakey's first birthday to have a party where she got to invite all her friends from school.  She teetered back and forth for weeks on what kind of theme she wanted, and almost every idea involved a Frozen element.  At one point I think a firetruck party with Princess Anna pancakes was mentioned.  Somebody punch me. 

 

Thankfully, I finally realized that she didn't really care as long as she had pink cupcakes.  That was the common thread with every new idea.  So I ran across this adorable invitation on Etsy a few weeks before the party.  Then, I did what any good mother would do.  I convinced Lakey that flamingos were her most favorite animal on earth.  Was it manipulative?  Yes.  Did I want to throw an adult tantrum if we had to have one more Frozen moment in our lives?  No.  The choice was clear.

 

 

I always make the cupcakes because, 1.)  My kids always want cupcakes on their birthdays, 2.) They are easy to make, and 3.) Kids don't care what they taste like and I rarely offer them to the grown-ups; therefore, my dignity stays intact along with my wallet. 

 

 

For some diversity though, I whipped these up also.

 

 

JUST kidding!  I could never.  These were truly works of art, and they tasted wonderful too.  I still prefer yours though, Mom.  With yours, I can eat as many as I want without seeing a calculator in my mind tallying up how many dollars I'm putting in my mouth.  And yours taste just as good too.  These were definitely a wow factor though, and I'm sure I'll splurge again some day, but probably not on a bunch of four year olds.   

 

Lakey's party was at the new rec center in town.  It has an indoor water park with a great section for younger kiddos.  I think everyone had a great time.

 

 

 

 

 

Back at home, Lakey opened her presents and we enjoyed more cookies.

 

 

 

Lakey's little personality continues to shine.  She becomes more independent every day, and with that definitely comes the sass.  We keep working on that, but I'm sure it will be a long road.  She's sweet (when she's sleeping), she's bossy, she's sarcastic, and she's quite witty actually.  Recently, Miles came out of her room crying.  When Jeremy asked him what was wrong, he said, "Lakey threw a book at me so hard."  She was quick to defend herself, "No I didn't, it was an iPad."  She's a mess for sure!

Here are some of Lakey's favorites today:

• Pink and Purple - even on her bagels in the morning.  She wants one half covered in strawberry cream cheese and the other half in blueberry (which is the color purple).
• Dresses - she rarely chooses anything else, and she wants them to twirl whenever possible.
• Noodles - of the Asian variety
• Uptown Funk - and anything from the Frozen soundtrack
• Ariel and Rapunzel - they've made significant strides up her list.  Watch out Anna and Elsa!
• Starburst - apparently.  She's been asking for them nearly every day.  Monday, I found a pile of wrappers on the far side of the bed in the guest room.  All pink.  She's sneaky, but not that sneaky.
• Olive - We got a puppy a few months ago.  Lakey was terrified at first like she is with all dogs, but now Olive has a shadow.
• Me - she's the first to compliment my outfits, my hair, my jewelry, my nails.  Today she asked me if she could have the dress I am wearing when she is bigger because she loves it.

We are really blessed and thankful for this one.  Can't wait to see what is in store for her life!

 

 

 

 

 

 



The Birthday Post That Almost Was

I swear it was just yesterday that Knox turned four.  And the day before that, Miles was four.  And now my littlest - four!  Time keeps rushing right on past, as usual.

The night before Lakey's big day, the boys and I curled up on her bed to talk about her birthday.  It's something I've been doing with Miles and Knox for the last few years.  I recount the moments from each one's actual day of birth and the days leading up to it.  They laugh as I tell them how hard they were kicking me in the stomach or how tired I was because they were taking all my nutrients for themselves.  We get out their birthday books and I add color commentary to all the photographs.  It's the best time for them.  Kids love to be told stories about things they said and did as babies.

This was the first time I'd done it with Lakey on her birthday.  It's tricky because I don't know anything about her birth story to tell.  I don't know if she was born on a sunny day or a cloudy one.  I don't know if she was born in a hospital or in some one's home or otherwise.  Was she a content baby or did she cry a lot?  Was she born with lots of hair or very little?  Was anyone there to hold her close right away?  I have reports that say she weighed less than four pounds when she was found at the gate of the orphanage on July 11th.  Following a brief medical examination, she was assigned a date of birth.  July 8th.  She was wearing a yellow, cotton suit.

I admit.  If I dwell for too long on the above I get emotional.  The hard truth about adoption is that it begins with loss, and Lakey's birthday reminds me.  A mother lost her child, and that is the single, worst thing I can imagine having to endure.  Maybe she chose to walk away, sure.  Perhaps her government or family pressured her to do it, or maybe she felt she couldn't provide but wanted her baby to have a loving family.  No matter the circumstance, it must have been heart wrenching for her to give up her child. 

Lakey also lost something in those first few days of her life.  She lost every tie to her biological family - people of her own bloodline who at the very least might have offered medical history knowledge or insight into her background and ancestry.  Surely there will come a day when Lakey has questions about what makes her, well her.  I'm not sure how I will be able to help her when that day arrives, but I trust that wisdom will come when it needs to.

Lately, I've been thinking about the importance of knowing about the stock from which I come.  I like knowing that I resemble my dad.  I look like him, I lose things like him, and I zone out like him.  Hey, I have a lot of imperfections and it's comforting to know they come from somewhere (love you Dad - I'm certain I gained a few of your best qualities too).  It's also fun to know that my musical ability (however slight), my sweet tooth (as deep as the Marianas trench), and my attention to task related detail resembles my mom. 

But I can't put my finger on why it matters to me.  I mean, it's not imperative that I am able to relate my traits to anyone else in my family.  I would still go on living the same life God has set before me regardless of whether or not I know that my eyes were like my Mema's (so she used to tell me).  Certainly, it's helpful to know what medical issues I might be predisposed to and what not, but as a friend who had cancer once said (and with no family link to it), "I guess family history starts with someone, right?" 

So then, if I decide that these things don't really matter, it must be that it's important to me simply for the reason that I find comfort in knowing I belong. 

We all want to belong - I think it's human nature.  Most people try to find a sense of it by joining a country club, or a political party, or a church.  But I'm not talking about some organization that you can easily join or disjoin.  You only find belonging in those groups as long as you are like-minded, or adhere to a specific doctrine, or pay your dues, or attend a membership class or whatever.  It's conditional.  I am talking about belonging, as in, having a permanent position IN something.  I belong IN the human race, not to some political party or country club.  I belong IN the Body of Christ, not to a religious organization.  I belong IN my family, not because our eyes are all brown or because we all eat cottage cheese under our beans (truth).  I belong here simply because that is where God, the Placer, has placed me.

And that is the truth which leads me out of the initial sadness I feel when I reflect on Lakey's birthday and into the joy and complete celebration of this sweet girl.  I hope it is something that she will hold true in her heart one day too.  Though there is grief on one side of the coin, the other side can be joy because the Placer has grafted her into this family.  Therefore, she belongs here as much as any of the rest of us.

**I meant for this to be an entry to document Lakey's fourth birthday - what she's doing now, what she likes, doesn't like, etc.  Clearly, I got lost in thought.  Another trait I can blame thank my dad for.

Gotcha Lakey: Two Years

It felt like forever between filling out the first adoption application and the day we met Lakey face to face.  The whole process took one year and two weeks, but the two years since then have absolutely flown by.  Time with kids has a funny way of doing that. 

Gotcha Day is more significant to me than Lakey's birthday.  I feel the same way on this day as I do on Miles and Knox's birthdays.  On their birthdays, I remember all the events leading up to the moment I saw each of them for the very first time.  I tell them about those moments and they laugh so much because they love hearing stories about themselves.  I don't have any of those moments to share on Lakey's birthday.  I don't even know exactly when she was born.  But I do have the memories of the day leading up to the moment when I first saw the stone faced little girl wearing a puffy red coat. 

So, I told Lakey about Gotcha Day today, and we looked through the photo book the orphanage had made for her.  I showed her pictures of where she lived, and we talked about how China Popo took care of her until mommy, daddy, and Miles could come for her.  Miles talked about what he remembered about Gotcha Day - the most prominent memory being that Lakey would eat three or four boiled eggs every morning (I think it was really only one or two) and how he would go back to the breakfast buffet over and over for more bacon (this is accurate).  It's really fun to relive our time in China from his perspective.  His memory is remarkable, and I love realizing what things made the biggest impression on a then four year old.

So in commemoration of Gotcha Day, we ate boiled eggs and bacon for dinner.  And later, Lakey thanked God for,

"...Lakey, Mommy, Daddy, Lakey, Knoxxy, Miles, and for food."

Amen.  

Three: Lakey Ming Jia

Our sweet girl turned three today.

Now she has lived almost half of her life with us.

She has surprised me.  I expected a meek and mild little girl for some reason.

But as she grows more and more comfortable, she has proven to be outspoken, good humored,  happy, loud and moody.

Oh, and hungry.  All the time.

 

At the age of three, her favorite things are...
Hello Kitty
Minnie Mouse
Gummy vitamins
Her "pack-pack" (backpack)
Her Hello Kitty "swim soup" (swimsuit)
Gymnastics
Her Hello Kitty "foam" (a musical toy iPod thing she thinks is a phone)
Her black/hot pink Nike shoes that her friend Ashlyn handed down after she outgrew them

Her favorite songs to sing are...
It's A Small World, Edelweiss, Hey Jude, Twinkle Twinkle and Thank You Lord. 

Her favorite color is hot pink. 

She wants to wear her hair in "Anna baids" (braids like Anna, from the movie Frozen) every day.

I can't think of a cooler three year old. 

Happy birthday Jodgy!  We love you!

something sweet.

Last night after Lakey and I read a book together, I asked her if she wanted to talk to God before she got in bed.  She said yes, and this is what she said,

"God thank you, making me happy."

 

 

Then we sang, Thank You Lord, together at her request and I almost died of joy.

One Year with Lakey

One entire year.

Sometimes I go back and read my posts from China.  Every time I see the pictures from the first day we laid eyes on Shang Guan Ming Jia my heart jumps into my throat.  For the rest of my life she will, in my eyes, be the bravest girl I've ever known.  To remember her standing there in front of me that day, dressed in all her best layers, refusing even a sideways glance in my direction still makes me weep because I know that little 19 month old soul could sense change was coming.  And though it took her several minutes to mull it over, she finally mustered up the fortitude to turn and look me in the eye.  And literally, Lakey never looked back to the ones that brought her to us.

I can barely process it even still.  We are so thankful to God every day for creating this sweet girl and bringing us together.  This has surely been a year we won't forget, and the best is yet to be!

lakey: six months later.

Today marks six months since Lakey became our forever daughter.  And in six months, I have learned some things about her.

She is delicious.  I could eat her up with a spoon.

Give her a snack and you've got a friend for life.

She takes a particular liking to corn on the cob.  It was love at first bite.

She is sometimes bossy and is slightly dramatic.  Her favorite phrase is, "Sit. Right. Here."

PoPo was spot on when she said that Lakey lets you know if something doesn't meet her mind.  I froze solid from this icy glare after I helped myself to a bite of her eggs one morning.  Yikes.

She has an adventurous spirit.

She is a beauty.

She mixes perfectly with her rowdy brothers.

She is loving, and she is loved.

I think she is happy with us so far.

And I am so glad about that, because we are 100% in love with her.

Knox Talks: Missing the Boat A Little

"Daddy, when are we going to take Lakey back to China?"

lakey. two years old.

oh goodness.

it's that time of year.  it starts in july and it's a snowball of crazy until next year.

lakey turned two yesterday. i don't think she's ever celebrated a birthday.  at least not with a cupcake and a candle.

or with voices singing "happy birthday."

the candle almost brought her to tears, but thankfully knox was chomping at the bit willing to blow it out for her.

good news is that once the candle was removed, she could tell that there was an edible item underneath.

and lakey LOVES to eat.

in the end, the cupcake brought her to her feet and drew out her happy face (or pirate face, however you want to look at it).

she got her first baby doll, and it was love at first sight.

for him too.

 lakey pushed her baby around the rest of the evening and it was first on her mind this morning.

it's ridiculous how smitten we all are for this girl.

and it's ridiculous how crooked i cut her bangs.  i remedied this tonight.

we love our sweet girl.

so much.

happy birthday miss lakey ming jia.

*we miss you miles!